Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
