ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
