All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
