I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
