***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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