do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
