just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
