WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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