that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
