You're my little dorito
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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