I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
