I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
