im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
