Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
