I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
