and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
