The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
