Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
