the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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