Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
