his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
