If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
