Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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