I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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