I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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