is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
