I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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