He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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