The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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