never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
