D3 body, D1 cock
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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