I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's never too late to be topless.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
