I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize