i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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