If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize