don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
