Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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