It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
