After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All the doctor said was why
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
