Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
