NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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