WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
