I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
