I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
