is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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