These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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