Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
