your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
