On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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