Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
