yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
