did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
