Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
