I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
