i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
