I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
